Ya'll! This past Sunday was unreal. Jesus was in our church service. He was IN our church. His presence was so thick, not a soul was untouched. I will tell you about my Sunday:
I woke up Sunday morning at 8:30, which is not early by any means, but I felt like a train had hit me. The night before I worked, at the nursing home, long story super short, we were short staffed by 2 people because they didn't come to work, so that left about 50+ residents for 3 aides to take care of. I was drained, and I really didn't want to go to sunday school that started at 9 but I went anyhow. I daydreamed some through sunday school, but I needed to stay awake. and I was going to. Another thing I need to interject is that I don't usually go to sunday school. We don't have a college aged group that meets for sunday school and so I got with the adults, and they just started a new study so I told myself I needed to go, and I did, regardless of my sleepiness.
So service started. Worship was awesome. and the Lord was moving in so many ways. Every sunday our pastor opens up the alter for people if they need prayer. I really wanted to go up, but I decided that wanting prayer for stress isn't really something God would be interested in. (yea, I was wrong about that) We continued to worship, and I could feel the Lord's love around me, and for once I didn't feel like He was just speaking to me. He was speaking to His body of believers. All of us. We continued to linger in His presence. It was so sweet. Our pastor kind of started to pray to close the alter time, and then said he really thought some people were being worked on by the Lord (ahem, me) and just felt like we should stay in alter time, and just pray and worship. At that point, I went up to the alter. There is something so sweet about doing that. Just getting past what people may think or say, and spend time with our Savior. Long story short (again) our pastor didn't even make a sermon. we didn't need one. we had felt Jesus, and danced and sang with Him. It was bliss. the most pure bliss and joy that my heart had felt in a long time. I loved looking around at my friends and church family, and just loving that they love Jesus, right along with me.
I am so blessed.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
insomnia...
insomnia is by far, hands down, one hundred percent, my least favorite thing. ever.
i am a sleeper. i love sleeping. i'm talking 20 minute naps sound good to me i like sleeping so much. one of the many reasons that i love sleeping is because you close your eyes, sleep, and BOOM it's the next day. new adventures. new people. new experiences. who knows what's going to happen. but alas there are nights such as these that my mind will not be still. even for a moment.
this has been my thought process over the last 2 hours of me trying to sleep:
money.
college.
degree.
friends.
boy.
traveling.
food.
expenses.
college.
degree.
hairstyles.
work.
stress.
money.
new guitar?
new iPad?
taylor.
gibson.
taylor.
gibson.
money.
college.
Bible camp.
friends.
work.
school.
church.
youth group.
boy.
work.
finances.
hairstyles.
working out.
running.
yoga.
abs.
hairstyles.
starbucks.
ugh! if my mind only didn't think so much in a day! i work at a nursing home and almost everyday is the same. i go to work at 1:45p and get off at 10:15p. at about 7:30p my body starts to go into a lethargic mode, and i have to make myself pick up the pace, to stay awake, although with every person i dress down and put to bed, every denture i clean, and every face i wash, i desperately want to be them.
after work, i come home, take a shower, still tired. and once i hit the pillow, my body decides to rebel. so most times i stay up watching a tv show or something before i hit the hay. but there are nights like tonight that i am so beyond the point of being tired, that there is no hope for me to sleep. my body is already used to not being asleep when it needs to be. (does that make any sense?)
once i have reached this point my mind wanders to anything and everything, and i cannot for the life of me make it stop.
tomorrow i am getting my hair done. just a trim. but do i think about that? nope. i think about every single way i want my hair to look by the time i die. right now it is very long (not past my bum though, that's just to much). and blonde. at some point i want to die it brown. and then blonde again. short this time. and then maybe a pixie. ugh, who knows.
college. it starts in about a month and a half. i'm going to be a doctor. but how will i pay for all of that? (the best is the guilt of the lack of finances i have now because i am a young adult and decided in previous years it was wise to spend most of my money instead of save it.....that was a high dose of sarcasm if you didn't catch it) but somehow i must find the way to get the money i need, because i don't want to take out more loans than i have to. so next year i need to work every weekend. and most every weekday if i can. but i also have to work in the office at the college because i am a student ambassador.
guitars. i need a new one. one that doesn't sound like i should only be playing in a barn. one i can play at church, and it sounds like a real instrument. taylor. i want a taylor. very badly. but taylor's are very expensive. and i could buy one but now i also could use an ipad for school, and it would be more of a "need" than a taylor, but i cannot get both. so now i have decided that instead of getting a taylor this summer i will get a gibson, or a fender. whatever the guitar store has. (this is the only though process that has come to a conclusion)
working out. not doing it. need to do it. period.
i will stop boring you now. i am going to try and attempt the impossible by falling once more into bed and only hoping that my body has warn out by my fingers flying across these keys. it's doubtful, but i'll try it.
xo
P.S. i am not this much of a thinker all the time. just when i can't sleep, it's pitiful.
i am a sleeper. i love sleeping. i'm talking 20 minute naps sound good to me i like sleeping so much. one of the many reasons that i love sleeping is because you close your eyes, sleep, and BOOM it's the next day. new adventures. new people. new experiences. who knows what's going to happen. but alas there are nights such as these that my mind will not be still. even for a moment.
this has been my thought process over the last 2 hours of me trying to sleep:
money.
college.
degree.
friends.
boy.
traveling.
food.
expenses.
college.
degree.
hairstyles.
work.
stress.
money.
new guitar?
new iPad?
taylor.
gibson.
taylor.
gibson.
money.
college.
Bible camp.
friends.
work.
school.
church.
youth group.
boy.
work.
finances.
hairstyles.
working out.
running.
yoga.
abs.
hairstyles.
starbucks.
ugh! if my mind only didn't think so much in a day! i work at a nursing home and almost everyday is the same. i go to work at 1:45p and get off at 10:15p. at about 7:30p my body starts to go into a lethargic mode, and i have to make myself pick up the pace, to stay awake, although with every person i dress down and put to bed, every denture i clean, and every face i wash, i desperately want to be them.
after work, i come home, take a shower, still tired. and once i hit the pillow, my body decides to rebel. so most times i stay up watching a tv show or something before i hit the hay. but there are nights like tonight that i am so beyond the point of being tired, that there is no hope for me to sleep. my body is already used to not being asleep when it needs to be. (does that make any sense?)
once i have reached this point my mind wanders to anything and everything, and i cannot for the life of me make it stop.
tomorrow i am getting my hair done. just a trim. but do i think about that? nope. i think about every single way i want my hair to look by the time i die. right now it is very long (not past my bum though, that's just to much). and blonde. at some point i want to die it brown. and then blonde again. short this time. and then maybe a pixie. ugh, who knows.
college. it starts in about a month and a half. i'm going to be a doctor. but how will i pay for all of that? (the best is the guilt of the lack of finances i have now because i am a young adult and decided in previous years it was wise to spend most of my money instead of save it.....that was a high dose of sarcasm if you didn't catch it) but somehow i must find the way to get the money i need, because i don't want to take out more loans than i have to. so next year i need to work every weekend. and most every weekday if i can. but i also have to work in the office at the college because i am a student ambassador.
guitars. i need a new one. one that doesn't sound like i should only be playing in a barn. one i can play at church, and it sounds like a real instrument. taylor. i want a taylor. very badly. but taylor's are very expensive. and i could buy one but now i also could use an ipad for school, and it would be more of a "need" than a taylor, but i cannot get both. so now i have decided that instead of getting a taylor this summer i will get a gibson, or a fender. whatever the guitar store has. (this is the only though process that has come to a conclusion)
working out. not doing it. need to do it. period.
i will stop boring you now. i am going to try and attempt the impossible by falling once more into bed and only hoping that my body has warn out by my fingers flying across these keys. it's doubtful, but i'll try it.
xo
P.S. i am not this much of a thinker all the time. just when i can't sleep, it's pitiful.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
sunday.
i wish everyday was like this sunday. church. picnic. sunshine. and music. that is what my day has consisted of so far. and a time of rest of course. and it isn't even 5 yet! i am so beyond blessed to be surrounded with people that love me, that love the Lord, and desire to serve Him. today has been such a joy to my soul.
beyond today though, and beyond today's joy, i have to continue to find joy even in days that i don't feel it. work can be stressful, and as weird as it is my heart is longing for school to start again, to get back into a routine. i am an individual driven by routine, although i love to be spontaneous, which is almost an oxymoron. i long to travel and see the world, but as for now, i am here, at home, in my routine. and i am ok with that, as long as days like today continue to exist.
beyond today though, and beyond today's joy, i have to continue to find joy even in days that i don't feel it. work can be stressful, and as weird as it is my heart is longing for school to start again, to get back into a routine. i am an individual driven by routine, although i love to be spontaneous, which is almost an oxymoron. i long to travel and see the world, but as for now, i am here, at home, in my routine. and i am ok with that, as long as days like today continue to exist.
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