Honesty.

I am a very blunt gal.

and (shocker) I'm completely over the moon about it.

I think in our society a woman that speakers her mind and is very truly honest is sometimes looked down on, or seen as rude, or unladylike etc. Which I think can be true, if their honesty is delivered in a wrong way.
Being honest and blunt is something I really cherish about my personality. Some people might think that's an interesting quality to be really excited about but being these things helps me communicate well, and people know if they ask me something-they're going to get an honest answer.

I had a woman from my church ask me if I wanted to go clothes shopping with her, and at the end of the shopping she turned to me and said that she likes taking me and only a couple other ladies shopping because we give her honest opinions of how the clothes look on her...not just what she wants to hear.

Our society is all about telling people what they want to hear. Or catering to people's opinions. We don't like conflict, so we don't stand up for ourselves/others, and we let other rule what we do.

It's ok to be honest. 
It's alright for you to speak your mind.
It's right to stand up for yourself and others. 

I believe being honest can also help you communicate well. Communication in our world is everything. Literally. Everything.
Everyone knows that person on Facebook that made a fool of themselves because they posted something controversial and the world went crazy. 90% of the time I would say it's because they didn't communicate well, or in an ignorant way.

I know that my communication has grown (in a positive way) between my parents and I-because instead of just getting upset and hanging up, walking off, etc, I finally just was like "this is what's upsetting me, this is why, etc." Being blunt is ok. It's the best way to people to actually know what you're thinking/feeling.

BUT. (there's always a caveat:a warning or proviso of specific stipulations, conditions, or limitations) {I included the definition because sometimes I use that word and I get deer in the headlights look}

Hear me here.

Just because you're honest, it does not mean everyone else in your life is going to be honest too. (Specifically in relationships) Just because you stand up and speak your mind and speak out for others, does not mean it's going to be received well.

That's the hardest part about being an honest person I think. It's not always received well, and it's not always reciprocated.
But the few times it is, it's glorious! Communicating in an honest way is something I believe everyone subconsciously wants--but never makes it happen. Instead we play the "you guess" game. {you know the one where we don't say what's upsetting us, and expect our partners, family members, and friends to "know what you did wrong."}

I hate this game.
It's a pointless game.
That does NO GOOD.
(LADIES--it doesn't do anything healthy for your relationships)

We do this I think because we want to be understood--to the max.

and people.

no matter how much time you spend with someone--this does not mean they are magically over time going to be able to read your mind. 

we are an evolving culture.
we change all the time--that's ok!

Communicating and being honest with people in your life doesn't mean you have to be an open book. However (at least in my life) I felt a lot better about myself when I started being honest and telling people what I thought. Don't shy away from who you are and what you think. Because there really is truly not one person on the planet like you.

bonfires.

of course I'm the small town girl from Kansas (so you probably won't find this really surprising) but I love bonfires. Just the fact that you can sit around and chat and truly invest in people and spend time with them is something that I think should be forever cherished.
too many times I think our generation is about having friends that go and do things with you-it's always a "going, going, gone situation." I don't think we take the time to truly get to know someone and talk about quality things. I was meeting with a new friend last week (who is a quite a few years my senior) but she's so much fun! Kids my age probably think it's weird that I can call a woman less than 5 years younger than my mom my friend. But I don't think it's weird at all!
This woman has had some great experiences and can really relate to me! She's single and has lived and traveled and met so many great people and it's a thrill just to sit (and drink great espresso) and talk with her. And in the hour and half that we met, we talked more about life and experience and what we wanted to do (as she is single and can pretty much choose to do as she pleases) more than I've talked with friends I've known most of my life.
this past weekend I got to spend time also with friends (although much closer to my age) and the same thing happened. We spent some time playing around on instruments, and just talked. no phones. just quality time. and then we went and played soccer, and had a bonfire and s'mores. and I realized these are truly real friends.

my friends help build me.
my friends challenge me.
my friends can call me out on things-because sometimes they can tell I'm changing when I can't.
my friends always care about and love me.
my friends encourage me. (even to go beyond your comfort zone)
and
my friends believe in me.



"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." -William Penn