time's been sweet to me.

sometimes I don't understand myself. 

I love doing something for a season...then forget about it, or find "something better to do" 

and here I am again. 

hopefully for once I can try to stay consistent. 

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as I write this I am listening to "good in goodbye" by carrie underwood. 

which is a song about broken love. 

but it still-in a way- relates to me in this season of life. 

I am getting ready to move away from home. 

all I've known.

the friends I have.

my family. 

it's insane. 

I began to realize how much I love my little home here in Kansas. I love my friends. I love my church. I love my well spent time. The fact that in my little town there isn't much to do. So we have to be creative...we actually have to spend time together. 

cook.

clean. 

play cards.

watch movies. 

make popcorn. 

stargaze. 

coffee shops.

watch a sunset/sunrise.

summer.

fair. 

talk. 

walk. 

drive. 

parades. 

art walks. 

libraries. 

{these are a few of my favorite memories here}

all this is coming to an end. for now. 

I love learning new things about myself...when I do find something out about myself and I understand why I am designed that way it's easier to express myself. 

I know that I am an over planner. 

I am not always an over planner/over thinker. 

but I am sometimes. 

I have had to keep myself in check as this season has approached me. I know that I will definitely be gone for a couple years, if not more, and in thinking and planning ahead for the future. I still have to remember that God has plans. that far exceed mine. so I have to leave room for Him to do what He will. which is obviously hard...for an over planner. 

this season didn't come without trials. 

school can sometimes be a mess. 

I honestly don't think I have been "tested" more in my life than the last year. 

and some of the best advice I have heard this years was this:

just because bad things happen {or stressful things} doesn't mean God doesn't want you to do what you're doing. it just means that things happen. 

I grew up always thinking "God lets everything happen for a reason" 

which is true. 

but as I got older- for whatever reason- I always started looking for the "sign" in my trials. like...why God was letting something. It never donned on me...until I actually sat back and thought about it....

I live in a crappy world, and crappy stuff happens, that doesn't means Jesus loves me less, or I did something wrong, it means through it all He will be there. and I don't need to worry. 

that's hard pill for this over thinker to swallow. 

but slowly and surely.

the pill is being swallowed. 

Matthew 6:34(ESV)

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.